The Weekly Review

by Chris Bowler

Motivated from the inside

I’ve been thinking lately about what drives us to pursue certain activities. This line of thinking was initiated by this question in an application form for competing in the Soke Cup (the world championship tournament for the Chito-ryu style of karate):

Why do you want to compete in the Soke cup?

The question is asked because this is not just any tournament. It happens every three years and will include the best and most dedicated athletes in the world. Entering a competition like this should be done with more consideration than a usual event.

As I pondered how to best answer the question, I noticed my son sitting beside with his pen down and an unhappy look on his face. I asked him how he was thinking of answering why he wanted to compete in the Soke Cup. His response was, “I don’t.”

A careful balance

I’ve learned in my time as a parent that you’re often walking a fine line between pushing your children to challenge themselves and allowing them to find their own passions (not to mention creating spaces for adequate rest and downtime). But some kids need a little boost to find a craft to pour themselves into.

Self-direction is great until a child only seeks the easiest path at all times.

Anyway, this all got me thinking about motivation. At times, external motivations are important. They help us to remember about deadlines and responsibilities to others. But ideally, motivation is intrinsic and comes from the individual.

But that kind of motivation is not always found through the course of everyday life. It often needs to be cultivated — that was sure the case in my life.

This particular child of mine is talented, but working hard is not yet a skill he cherishes. He participates in karate because we require our boys to join at least one physical activity outside of school. He’d tried it for a year and while he doesn’t hate it, he also doesn’t love it.

And he has no desire in competing against others or doing the required training for a world-class event.

Finding their way

You can’t force children into pursuits: they have to find their own interests.

My son? I couldn’t ask him to answer a question that asks why he wanted to do something when he in fact does not want to do it. But I also didn’t want to let him just say no and forget about it. I asked him in what way would he want to challenge himself in 2019.

He decided on joining flag football.

I support his decision. When we hit situations like this, I prefer to let them make their own decisions. But at the same time, they need to understand two truths:

  • there is joy in a job well done, even when you don’t enjoy the job
  • mature adult do the things that are needed, not only what they want to do

Those were truths that took me far too long to learn.


When you have so many things on the go

Maybe it’s simply due to the current stage of my life, but my days can feel so busy and scattered that I have to fight the feeling of being overwhelmed. Where all the different scenarios or locations in my day bring a reminder of another thing that needs tending to, anything thing that I should be doing something about.

And that sense of being overwhelmed leads to the feeling of not even knowing where to start.

How It Looks

As I work from home, usually alone, there are a lot of ways this feeling can come at me. It’s also one of the dangers of working remotely from your home: people think pleasurable pursuits are a distraction (like binge-watching Netflix shows), but in reality, it’s my other responsibilities that distract. When you work in an office, the triggers and reminders of the tasks from the rest of your life are largely out of sight, out of mind.

Anyway, here’s how it can look on any given day for me:

  • I’m working on my most important work task of the day, the kind of activity where I want to be most focused. As I hit a moment of uncertainty about how to solve the problem, I take my fingers off the keyboard and look out the window as I meditate
  • At that moment, I observe that is stopped snowing … I wonder if I need to shovel the front deck
  • Then I question whether I’m going to get in the lunch run I had planned — I dislike running right after a snowfall, but I know I’ll feel pressure if I don’t do it
  • I return my attention to the task at hand, but just as I start to type, I hear the beep of the washing machine. I’ll need to get the next load going (6 people make a lot of dirty laundry in a week)
  • Dang that reminds me — I still haven’t taken any meat out of the freezer for dinner. I quickly do that, and put on the next load of laundry, before I forget again
  • I get back to work and make some progress. But once the uncertainty of how to handle the next unknown strikes again, I glance down at my hands as I stop to think
  • And then I notice the papers on my desk. Oh man, I need to get that account set up for the latest software tool our youngest’s teacher wants him to use. I write that down in my planner as a task to handle later in the day when work is finished
  • On the opposite page, my weekly goals are listed out. Sigh. It’s already Thursday, and I haven’t even started on my annual report for the church IT ministry. The board meeting is next week…

And on it goes. Every moment of every day does not feel like this, but the fact that I play multiple roles in my life and work from a space where all those roles converge means I often come face to face with all the reminders of my responsibilities.

How I Handle This Anxiety

How does one cope? Well, different people will have different responses. Not everyone is cut out for remote work, for example.

But here’s what works for me.

Be ok with working in small, micro chunks

You have to change your mindset. Even small bits of progress are just that: progress. I have had to recognize that even if it takes me 4 weeks to complete a task that could actually be finished in 4–5 hours, that’s the reality of the current stage of my life. And it’s ok.

With 4 kids coming up to their teen years, I’m likely the busiest I’ll ever be in my life. We have extracurricular activities 4 nights during the work week (and two on the weekend). I simply have to be on my game and as organized as possible. And some of my own desires have to be laid aside.

This is serving. And it’s a worthy sacrifice.

Process effectively

Another key here is straight out of GTD. I’m being inefficient if I handle the same thing more than once. Whether it’s a piece of paper or an email, I’m always needing to remind myself to process these items (and schedule a related task) and file them away rather than leaving them around.

Do not underestimate the power of the visual trigger. Seeing these items repeatedly will cause anxiety.

Have a weekly routine

This is an area I have struggled against for a long time. Matt Perman makes the recommendation for having a weekly routine, and I have fought this idea for far too long.

But it makes sense. If you wear multiple hats and those hats represent responsibility in a certain sphere of your life, you do well to give each of those roles some attention each week. I am in charge of the IT ministry at our church. It’s not a role for which I have a lot of time to devote, but I serve better when I give it at least a few minutes each week.

I’ve recently themed my weekdays so that each one has a different role in focus. It helps me to overcome that feeling of where to start. If I have a free moment, I focus on the day’s role.

Of course, I didn’t mention the fact that it’s always good to step back and evaluate whether you should cut some things from your life (and learn to say no). That’s a given.

But some things are worth saying yes to, even if it means you’re busier than a one-armed paper hanger.